


Ghost of You

by katielynn94



Category: Men’s Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Seperation, Sorta a happy ending, having to say goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 18:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katielynn94/pseuds/katielynn94
Summary: The moment Sami’s been dreading all summer. Will he be able to survive dancing through a house with a ghost?





	Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> This hit me like a freight train the other day while listening to Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer. It rattled around until I had to write it down to release my emotions. 
> 
> Beta’d by Grammarly. All other mistakes are my own. 
> 
> If you found this by googling yourself please turn around now.

Sami leaned into the car and kept adjusting the straps on Emmi’s car seat making sure they were exactly perfect while keeping up a one sided conversation with the 2 month old. Taking a deep breath he kissed the top of her head and inhaled her scent for one last time and backed out of the car. Turning around he walked into Ben’s arms and ducked his head against Ben’s chest. 

“October is too far away. How am I supposed to do this without you?” Sami murmured quietly into Ben’s T-shirt. 

“It’s only 8 weeks. You can do this. I believe in you. You’re going to show everyone what you can do. You don’t need me here to show you off.” Ben said as he rubbed mindless circles into Sami’s back. 

“It’s not the same anymore. You won’t be here. I don’t have a idea what this is going to look like.” 

“It’s hockey. Hockey has never failed you or let you down. Hockey is what brought us together. Just focus on the hockey until we can see each other again.” 

Sami sighed and tighten his arms around Ben before tucking his hands into Ben’s back pockets and pulling back to kiss him goodbye. Trying to pour everything into that one kiss. One final kiss before his whole world drove away. Releasing Ben Sami said, “I love you. Drive safely.” Ben trying to hold it together with his voice rough as he said, ”I love you, too.” 

Sohvi seemed to sense the tension and nuzzled her head on Sami’s leg before turning and wondering towards the house. Gone. The word kept echoing in his head as he walked aimlessly through the house. Shutting doors to keep the ghosts from taking a hold of his heart. Walking into their bedroom felt cold and unfamiliar. Knowing he’d never sleep Sami stripped the sheets and tossed them in the laundry. While in the utility room he grabbed plastic totes and headed back to his room. Methodically he packed all his things and carried the box down the hall to the guest room. Maybe he could sleep here where there were no memories of Ben to haunt him at night. 

He tried to relax. Tried to play with Sohvi. Nothing he tried could shake his mood. Blindly he scrolled through his contacts looking for someone, anyone who he could call. But who was supposed to take care of the mother hen of his squad? None of his friends had the kind of relationship he had. No one understood what he was feeling. 

So he gave up and sat down and stared at the ceiling. Hours turned into days. Sami lost track of time dancing through their house with the ghost of them. He was going to lose his mind if he stayed in the perfect museum of a house so he grabbed his overnight bag and keys from the guest room and walked out into the night. Getting into his car he slammed the door and banged his head against the steering wheel as sobs wracked his body. 

Hockey. It repeated itself like a mantra through his mind. So he went to the rink and pulled on his gear. Focusing on each movement. Grabbing his stick and a bucket of pucks he littered them across the ice. Shooting them into the net with as much force as he could muster. When that wasn't enough to clear his mind he skated from center ice to the net over and over until his limbs burned from his movements. After what seemed like hours, Sami picked all the pucks up and went to shower. 

After storing all his equipment, Sami shot off a quick text and pocketed his phone. He sat on the bench for a few minutes until his phone made a soft ping and he quickly saved the information into a new contact. Jogging out to the car he plugged in his phone and connected to the blue tooth and drove off into the night. 

Miles and hours stretched before him. Countless rest stops and convenience store bags littered the passenger seat. Blinking his eyes open stopping to sleep at some highway hotel 16 hours in. Until finally, he drove slowly up a new street with its perfect houses and its manicured lawns. A watery laugh escaped this throat. Of course, this is what she chose. Nothing but the best. Pulling up in front of the house Sami took a deep breath and tucked his hair behind his ear and got out of the car. Slowly he made his way up the walk, wiping his hands down the front of his jeans, before lifting his hand to knock on the door. He smiled to himself as he heard a commotion inside the house. 

Finally, Sami let out a watery sob as Ben opened the front door. Ben stared like he was seeing a ghost before pulling Sami into his chest and repeating Rakastan sinua like a prayer into Sami's hair. For that one perfect moment suspended in time, they were together again, until they had to face the bittersweet reality of life apart.


End file.
